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But what endless Japanese committees have failed to grasp when they stew over the country's procreation-shy youth is that, thanks to official shortsightedness, the decision to stay single often makes perfect sense. Judt is true for both sexes, but it's especially true for women. For Japanese women today, marriage is the grave of their hard-won careers. Tomita has a job she loves in the human resources department of a French-owned bank. A fluent French speaker with two university degrees, she avoids romantic attachments so she can focus on work. After that, I lost interest in dating. It became awkward when the question of the future came up.

You end up being a housewife with no independent income.

It's eseking an option for women like me. The World Economic Forum consistently ranks Japan as one of the world's Women just seeking hot sex in japan nations for gender equality at work. Social attitudes don't help. Married working women are sometimes demonised as oniyome, or "devil wives". Her end was seekong pretty. Prime minister Shinzo Abe recently trumpeted long-overdue plans to increase seeeking economic participation by improving conditions and daycare, but Tomita says things would have to improve "dramatically" to compel her to become a working wife and mother. I go out with my girl friends — career women like me — to French and Italian restaurants.

I buy stylish clothes and go on nice holidays. I love my independence. They assume I'm desperate because I'm single. It's the word I hear both sexes use most often when they talk about their relationship phobia. Romantic commitment seems to represent burden and drudgery, from the exorbitant costs of buying property in Japan to the uncertain expectations of a spouse and in-laws. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity.

Amid the recession and unsteady wages, men like Kishino feel that the pressure on them to be breadwinning economic warriors for a wife and family is unrealistic. They are rejecting the pursuit of both career and romantic success.

Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?

Kishino says he doesn't mind the label because it's become so commonplace. He defines it as "a sec man for whom relationships and sex are unimportant". The phenomenon emerged a few years ago with the Love sucking in ogre of a Japanese manga-turned-TV show. The lead character in Women just seeking hot sex in japan "Girly Men" was a tall martial arts champion, the king of tough-guy cool. Secretly, he loved baking Wonen, collecting "pink sparkly things" and knitting clothes for his stuffed animals.

To the tooth-sucking horror sedking Japan's corporate elders, the show struck a powerful chord with the generation they spawned. But he does like cooking and cycling, and platonic friendships. Emotional entanglements are too complicated," he says. Ironically, the salaryman system that produced such segregated marital roles — wives juxt the home, husbands at work for 20 hours a day — also created jn ideal environment for solo jwpan. Japan's cities are full of conveniences made for one, from stand-up noodle bars to capsule hotels to the ubiquitous konbini convenience Do i need a hookup scanwith jaapan shelves of individually wrapped rice balls and disposable underwear.

And Japan's cities are extraordinarily crime-free. Some experts believe japab flight from marriage is not merely a rejection of outdated norms and gender roles. It could be a long-term state of affairs. Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures? Many of the shifts there are occurring in other advanced nations, too. Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home. But demographer Nicholas Eberstadt argues that a distinctive set of factors is accelerating these trends in Japan.

These factors include the lack of a religious authority that ordains marriage and family, the country's precarious earthquake-prone ecology that engenders feelings of futility, and the high cost of living and raising children. With a vast army of older people and an ever-dwindling younger generation, Japan may become a "pioneer people" where individuals who never marry exist in significant numbers, he said. Japan's somethings are the age group to watch. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. According to the government's population institute, women in their early 20s today have a one-in-four chance of never marrying.

Their chances of remaining childless are even higher: They don't seem concerned. Emi Kuwahata, 23, and her friend, Eri Asada, 22, meet me in the shopping district of Shibuya. Kuwahata, a fashion graduate, is in a casual relationship with a man 13 years her senior. I'm trying to become a fashion designer. I don't miss boyfriends or sex. I don't even like holding hands. She just doesn't want a relationship and casual sex is not a good option, she says, because "girls can't have flings without being judged". Although Japan is sexually permissive, the current fantasy ideal for women under 25 is impossibly cute and virginal.

In the Japan Family Planning Association's study on sex among young people, there was far more data on men than women. There was no real sexual revolution with women burning their bras and demanding that they be able to sleep around freely without judgement. A lot of books, movies, and other media still give the impression that sex is just about physical release. For some Japanese women, there is a divide between sex for pleasure and sex deployed for specific purposes, be it, locking down a boyfriend, satisfying the husband, or creating children.

The role of sex has a lot to do with the relationship between the people involved. Japanese girls will never call you, message you, ask for your number, suggest a meet, or do anything else that implies that they are interested in you other than be good company. In the West, dating is far more a mutual thing. Japan is still a traditional place and most girls would be embarrassed to seem obvious about their interest. Men fawning over ladies is totally foreign to the Japanese female experience, and greatly welcomed. Many Japanese women take it as fundamental that men and women are different and rather than taking it as an affront, they take it as nothing more than a sign of attention and caring.

Japanese girls will be shocked and appreciative. Take a Muffin with your Coffee Cafes are a great place to meet new people, especially ladies. So for guys paying the bill, lead the way and just tell the girl what to pay for her share, e. And for girls, let your man treat you. If you feel bad, you can try to slip them yen etc later.